How can we move through grief and loss with more self-compassion and greater self-kindness?
Even the most positive, upbeat people we know seem to be experiencing grief these days. Many of us are holding both the loss of the past year and our hope for the future simultaneously as we come to the “end-ish” (hopefully) of the COVID-19 pandemic. Maybe you lost someone to COVID or another unexpected cause, and if so, you may be feeling increasingly isolated and lonely. If you are in the midst of grieving or you want to be there for someone who has gone through a loss of their own, this episode is for you. Today, on Erin’s first solo show, she opens up about the passing of her beloved 8-month-old puppy, Stevie Nicks, and shares some of her takeaways from On Grief and Grieving and Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Erin talks about embracing your emotions without feeling obligated to assign an immediate meaning. The episode dives deep into the truth that loss does not always have a deeper significance. You’ll also learn how to release the temptation to compare your level of grief to someone else’s who is “greater” or “less” and instead respect that your grief is allowed to be exactly what it is. As you may have experienced, grief is not linear, and it can come in waves when you might least expect it from a timeline or trigger standpoint. Hopefully, rather than pressuring yourself to move past it, with the help of this episode you can treat yourself with grace and kindness and allow the “meaning” of your loss to unfold one day at a time. Healing will happen, but you must be kind to yourself until then.
In this episode you’ll:
- Clarify why you have to “feel in order to heal”
- Accept that there isn’t always a meaning behind loss
- Release the pressure to grieve on a timeline because grief is not linear.
- Authorize yourself to really feel your grief in a non-comparative way
- Celebrate the smallest everyday wins as you survive another day
- Experience deep gratitude for what the love, person, moment, or experience you lost brought you and taught you.
“Oftentimes, we try to find the silver lining because we’re trying to expedite healing, we’re trying to expedite the happy ending, we’re trying to land the plane safely. But the reality is, if you don’t feel it, you can’t heal it. We can’t heal what we don’t feel.” — @mrs_erin_king [0:07:26]
“At a certain point, I think we do have to decide, are we going to keep treading water in these grief-stricken waters? Or at some point, are we going to try to move towards shore? Are we going to try to find a life raft? Are we going to try to change where we are so that we don’t let it overtake us, and so that we don’t drown?” — @mrs_erin_king [0:11:48]
“To uncover the meaning from your particular loss, the most important thing that you can do on a tactical every day basis is to remember to celebrate the smallest win.” — @mrs_erin_king [0:17:58]
“When you think about the person that you lost, when you think about the child, the parent, the friend, the sibling, the opportunity, the life that may we used to have, whatever you are lost looks like, I want us all to remember to focus on the fact that it would be worse if we never knew that person, or had that joy, had that moment.” — @mrs_erin_king [0:21:01]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: